(09/28/1941) Nadir

Note from Grady L. McMurtry about this poem: “A. C. liked this poem. When I came into 93 Jermyn Street one day he said, ‘Oh there you are. A line from one of your poems has been running in my head and I can’t get it out.’ The line was ‘I have heard the Mass of Mendes / Chaunted by a slitted tongue.'”

I have stood upon the battlements
Of ebon stone and jet,
Black light has bathed my body
With the force it can beget.
The brothers of the Shadow
In the gloom that never fades
Have welcomed me to keep that guard,
The gulf thrown palisades.
I have stood in their cathedrals
And the hymns of hate I’ve sung.
I have heard the Mass of Mendes
Chaunted by a slitted tongue.
I have taught the words of blasphemy,
With succubi I’ve lain,
By necromancy I have raised
The phantoms of the slain.
My steed has been the basilisk,
My armor was a spell,
By sourcery I could command
The fiery gods of Hell.
In monestaries of the Night
I’ve worn the hooded gown
With monks who crucify The Toad,
Where endless stairs go down
To the stagnant wells of shadow
Where the Four Great Princes stand.
I am alone. I am alone!
Dead. In a charnal land.

Grady L. McMurtry
9/28/41 e.v.

Originally published in Thelema Lodge Calendar, October 1989